my beloved parents

my life, up until now, has been nothing but utter bafflement. but hey, that's life. but it sure is a great thing to have a supportive family by my side. i mean, have u ever felt desperate enough that you just wanna flee from existence, that your life's going to break into pieces in just a matter of seconds and that you're clinging for your dear life onto even the tiniest bit of hope in order to just survive in the cruel world?
well, i have. and at that time, i instinctively went for my mom's warm hands, hoping for her to make me feel safe and sound once again like she used to, before i reached the point when i ask her to stop comforting me cuz i felt i wasn't a kid anymore. but hey mom, i'll still consider myself as your kid cuz i'm still and will always be your lil kid. =)

back to the story. so often, the harsh reality of life hits our head and we're lost without any ideas of whatsoever. believe me, the support of your family matters, big time.

my dad has always been the hard yet gentle kind of dad. but he's amazing from the lowest point of zero, he managed to rise up higher and higher until this much. although his childhood, both early and late, had never been, frankly speaking, rather as happy as mine. he had lost his mother when he was just still a baby. fuck, he could barely even talk. ever since, he has always been the kind of person who has a bit of a problem in socializing. he never gets a mother's sincere and unconditional love so he has always been somewhat rigid. but all those unhappy memories of him in the past, made him who he is now, and all those experiences he gains in life, keeps making him a better and better person. so i'm pretty sure that he's actually grateful for whatever happened in his past.

my mom and my dad are my parents, so i have to respect them and love them with all my heart, which i do. i'm sure i'm not the best son ever, but hey, i can't be perfect, everyone has flaws =P, and moreover, i'm still their son, like it or not. and i appreciate it when they make me happy. i wanna do the same to them, make them happy. but all i could do is just creating problems and making things even worse. so i hope that someday, i can make them happy. and right now, i feel extremely desperate. cuz this time, my mom's hugs won't do me any good anymore. i have to stand by my own two feet all alone. i just wanna make them happy as a return for they have been taking care of me, and are still taking care of me, the best way they can and i'm deeply grateful for that cuz there's no other way i want them to take care of me. so, i just wanna be a good son for them and make them proud of me, as simple as that. i hope i can fulfill their expectations and hopes for me. cuz they're my beloved parents.